The Importance of Mental Health and Divorce

Going through a divorce is one of the most stressful situations that anyone encounters.  In many ways, it is like dealing with a death.  The death of a life you once knew and will no longer have.  There are many steps involved:  denial, anger, sadness, grief and finally acceptance.  It is essential that you seek some mental health counseling if you are struggling through the process.  A trained professional can help guide you and lead you to the path of healing.  We have all met people who still are bitter about their divorces and it is ten years later.  These are people who did not grieve through the experience and come out healthy on the other side.  You have to face the pain head on and work through the issues.  Otherwise, you may end up in another relationship and the same painful issues will not have resolved themselves.  Studies are encouraging in that people tend to have a better life for themselves once they let go of a relationship that is not working.  There is an excitement and a new beginning for them.  Of course, the financial aspects are almost always devastating.  You go to having just one household to suddenly having two households and money is usually always tight.  A stay at home mom may have to face the realization that she must seek full time employment.  A husband who has only worked part time may now be forced to get full time work.  It is a great time to teach kids the value of a dollar and why Mom and Dad are cutting back.  I hear some clients tell me that they can’t afford counseling.  My feeling is that you can’t afford not to have counseling.  There are all types of services that can help you.  For example, the Women’s Resource Center in town gives counseling on a sliding scale.  How about checking in with your church?  There is a wonderful  group called Divorce Care that has classes and some group therapy.  Is there a special friend who can listen and help you come to terms with things?  Maybe there is an extended family member who has been through the process and survived.  Ask how they got through the process.  You may wonder why divorce attorneys care that their clients are getting some help on the emotional issues.  The case goes so much smoother if clients are taking care of themselves and working through the pain.  My experience has been that a client is in a better position to make big decisions if they are in control of their emotions and not letting anger dictate their decisions.  No attorney wants to see a former client in the street ten years down the road and have that client still bitter and in pain over the former divorce.  Divorce is not easy but I would encourage you to seek some help with the emotional side of things and this will help you navigate through the process so much better.  Time does help just like it does in the death of a loved one but you have to grieve through the experience.  Do not get involved right away in another relationship.  Give yourself time to heal.  I have had so many success stories of former clients that I met again and they tell me that they have never been happier and their kids are thriving.  It takes some work to get there but it can be done.  Family law attorneys are a good resource for giving you names of mental health practitioners in the area as well as other resources.